Your Perfect Psyche
by FearxIsXNeverxEnding
Summary: He covered the 'not' on your arm and held you closely and tightly. You finally manged to find your voice as you whisper, "I-Izaya... N-nii..." Izaya sobbed a bit more, finally hearing you call out to him, "Yes Psyche?" Rated M for the language. Sorry!


_**Author's notes (personal opinions)!: **__I got this idea after hearing fucking perfect so god damn early in the morning. It's always at 1 o'clock that I always wake up from sleeping, and then I can't go back to sleep... T^T Well, for my school this is my fan fiction to start of the semester~ ^^ PLEASE DON'T BE SO HARSH ON THE PART WHERE IZAYA GETS HURT! I'm sleepy alright! T^T I really tried... maybe if I wasn't so tired then maybe I would have done a better job! "-/gasp- NO YAOI LEMON? OMG FEAR-CHAN!" I KNOW RIGHT? I wanted it to be sad/cute. :3 That's why I didn't make them do anything, plus you already had a lemon from me with Izaya/Psyche! D: Don't play with me! But yea, I had so much fun writing this~ I got lazy with it halfway, so be nice~ And for those who didn't know what Psyche cut into his arm it's 'not perfect'. :( Oh if you read this, PLEASE REVIEW! -/hearts- thankies!_

_**Disclaimer!: **__Durarara! isn't mine, I wish it was. So meaning, Izaya, Psyche, Delic, Tsuggi-kun and Shizu-chan isn't mine either. T^T I WOULD MAKE THEM DO SO MUCH YAOI IN EVERYTHING I SWEAR! JUST FOR YOU YAOI FANS OUT THERE! ^^_

_**Warning!: **__THIS DOESN'T HAVE A LEMON! :3 But it has twincest yaoi, but cuteness yaoi! ^^ Don't like don't fucking read. B| Thankies!_

1 year before 3 months before being up in the hospital.

_"Your not perfect...", he would whisper as he sliced his arm, watching the crimson liquid fall into the water, "You'll never be perfect... you'll never be like him..." The raven haired male sliced deeper, hissing ever so slightly from the pain that shot up in his arm, "Everything's you're fault. Your for what happened; your fault that he's not here..." Tears found away to leak out of his bright pink eyes._

_ "I'm sorry for not being like your other son mom..."_

_ Pail hands finally let go of the small blade, letting it tap the bathroom floor with a soft sound as he held his arm closely to himself, sobbing out lightly, laying back in the tub. _

_ "Alone..."_

_ The sobs that started out soft grew louder as he looked up at the ceiling, "...I'm sorry... I didn't mean it mom... please understand I didn't mean to hurt your perfect child..." His knees came up as he wrapped his arms around his legs, the bloody arm staining the pail flesh. "...I didn't mean to hurt him..." After a while, the sounds of sobbing died out, the silence ringing loudly in his ears. "Mom I'm sorry... I didn't mean to put him in the hospital, I'm sorry...", he sighed out, wanting to some-what break the silence, "It wasn't my fault, please stop saying it is... it just happened, how was I suppose to know that it was gonna happen? You know I love him, please stop saying that if I didn't love him I wouldn't have done that..." His mother wouldn't care if he was sent there, would she?_

_ "I know it should have been me... I know, please stop rubbing it in..."_

_ 'It wasn't your fault', a voice said to him again as a ringing sound started in his head again, rather loudly, as his hands jolted to cover his ears, screaming from the loud ringings in his ears, '...it wasn't... you didn't notice, you didn't expect it. How were you suppose to expect it?' Nails clawed at the pail and soft ears as he screamed, his tears that he thought had stopped flowing once again. "It's not! Stop it! STOP IT!", he yelled before he blacked out in the bathroom, landing face first in the water._

* * *

Hospital Bed.

_ "Beep... Beep... Beep..."_

Pure white. That's all you see. Well, expect for the curtain, everything else was white. The curtain that shield you from the worlds eyes was blue. Your eyes flicker open slightly, looking around and from what you could see, there is a heart monitor there, your soft flesh is jabbed with needles up and down your right arm while your right arm is wrapped in bandages. From what your guessing, your in the hospital. Heck, that could be just you. Right? But the evidence is all around you, indeed your in a hospital. After a while of you just laying there whispering could be heard.

_ "Who's there...?"_

You want to ask, but yet no sound escape your dry chapped lips, you slowly turn your head to the side. You could see a shadowy figure on the other side of the curtain walking towards you, and thinking it's a doctor, you close your eyes. You highly doubt your suppose to be awake. They'll probably just put you back to sleep with some sort of drug. The person walks into your sanctuary, and from what you could hear, you could hear that this person has no shoes on. I mean, you could tell the difference of the sounds between people that have shoes and who don't have any. A scared and hurt voice spoke out to you, reaching your ears, causing them to twitch slightly.

_ "Hey Baka..."_

Regrets.

_ "Where not sure how long he's gonna' be in the coma Mrs."_, _the doctor, Shinra spoke out to the frightened women before him_,_"He's injured pretty badly..." Tears stung the corners of Mrs. Orihara's eyes as she looked down_. _"T-thank you for letting me know Mr. Kishitani...", she whispered to him, before looking up, "You'll call every now and then to let me know how my baby's doing... right?" Shinra nodded his head, "Of course, but don't expect a call every other day, I'll probably call you twice every month. Understood?" She nodded her head looking down, hearing the doctor's foot steps leave her. She turned around, trying so hard to hold the tears in, not wanting them to leak out. "M-mom...?", he spoke out, whom, unlike her, was sitting down, "Mom... I'm sorry, everything happened to fast and my the time I realized-" He was cut off mid sentence with a slap across the face, and not the ones that his mother would usually give him when he misbehaved; no, it was a slap like she hated the male before her._

_ "Why couldn't it have been you?"_

_ "W-what...?"_

_ "WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN YOU?"_

_ Before she could lay another hand on the child, she realized she had caused a slight scene. "Let's go home right now...", she spatted out, glaring at her other son, walking away quickly from him, like she couldn't stand to see his face any longer. The male stood there for a while before noticing that his mother was walking out on him. Scared, he slowly followed behind her, shaking slightly. When he caught up with her, he could hear his mother whisper something but couldn't really hear her correctly. _

_ '...she hates me...'_

_ "It should have been you, not your brother. He's to good for all this bull shit! If you really loved him you wouldn't have done this to him!", she yelled, not noticing the look of hurt planted on her sons face. It's not like she'd care anymore to notice him anyway._

_ '...does Nii-san hate me as well? Does he hate me like mother hates me...?'_

_ "That should have been YOU there, not HIM. Maybe you did this to him on purpose! You tried killing my FIRST BORN! How you fucking like __it if I fucking kill YOU?", she yelled as she continued driving down towards there house, the twin in the front seat._

_ '….maybe Nii-san does hate me... maybe when he wakes up he'll never wanna' talk to me...'_

_ The thought of his brother hating him scared him, and make him sob out lightly. His mother, who was so into her own pain, didn't notice that her other was sobbing out, and crying slightly. He was just as hurt and broken like she was. But she seemed like she didn't care about his feelings. Only her own. After a while of her just talking, he finally manged to block her out, trapped with-in his own thoughts of what happened. He really didn't mean for it to happen, and indeed, it should have been him... but.. he jumped in the way, pushing his twin brother out the way, letting himself take all the pain and damage._

_ '...what if he never comes out of the coma...? What if I never see him again...? What if... he leaves me...?'_

_ '...what if it really was my fault...?'_

_ '...what if...?'_

* * *

Hospital Bed.

"Hey baka...", you hear a voice reach out to you. It sounds to familiar, but then again it doesn't. "So... what's this from mom that I heard that she heard you screaming and when her and dad broke down the door, they found blood everywhere and you, face first in the water?" You don't speak. It's not like you can anyway, so you let him do all the speaking. "She didn't realize that I was awake... when she told me all of this. I didn't even realize that you where in the same room with me... right next to me... maybe because of the curtain? Maybe... but how long has it been since mom told me that...? Maybe a good 3 months... I woke up on the day of new years. Can you believe that? On the day, once it turned 12. I didn't realized that I woke up that time until I heard screaming from the TV and also people running around screaming 'happy new year!'" You could feel his eyes on you, before you heard a slightly chuckle, the same chuckle _he _would do to cover up his pain.

_ "Come back to me... Psyche..."_

* * *

How it happened.

_ The sun was shining rather brightly on this fine Monday. Psyche was staring at the clock, waiting for it to hit 3:30 as his adviser teacher, Will, looked at him and told him to finish his project for school. He looked down at his art project, and narrowed his eyes. "B-but I draw like crap!" Then there was a playful slap on the back of his head. "Ouch! Delic!", he laughed out playfully as his friend glared at him playfully, saying, "You don't draw like crap! Never say that again for I will slap you again!" Psyche laughed before nodding his head, "Alright my hubby!" Delic laughed before grabbing his twin in front of him, pulling on his hair. "Tsugaru~ Pay attention to us!" Blue eyes turned around, and with a calm face he said, "I'm doing my work Delic, I don't wanna get left back unlike you, who fail Kindergarten." Psyche laughed loudly at the other pink eyed male before taking his led pencil and continued drawing a picture of Yusa from The Kiddie. Delic looked over at Psyche's drawing, squealed before grabbed it, saying, "EFJHFJHFNJDHFSDHR- F-FFFFF- IS THIS YUSA, PSYCHE? OH MY GOD, CAN I KEEP IT?" _

_ How could he forget that Delic was a huge The Kiddie fan?_

_ "No Delic, I'll draw you another one for your birthday... right after Izaya-nii buys me more art stuff... Hehe~", he said, laughing slightly at the __male who looked upset as he put it down. "Draw it now! You have everything you need Psyche!" Psyche rolled his eyes as he continued drawing, now ignoring Delic.  
_

_ What felt like years to Psyche, Delic, and Tsugaru was actually 15 minutes. The bell rang and everyone was out the door, the 3 of best friends being the first. When they walked into the warm summer air, they saw both of their brothers waiting for them. Delic and Tsugaru's brother picking up Psyche's older twin brother by the collar of his shirt screaming something at him. All 3 of them ran to them, laughing. _

_ "Shizu-chan~ Put me down, I have to go home with Psyche~ and you have to go to your card board box after you drop Delic and Tsuggi-kun home~."_

_ "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"_

_ "Put me down Shizu-chan~ that's what I said."_

_ Shizuo glared at the male before dropping him, and Izaya being Izaya, landing swiftly on his feet before turning to his pink eyed twin brother and hugging him. "Hey Psyche...", he said, ruffling his hair. Shizuo turned to his brothers and picked them up, smiling, hugging them. Delic gasp for air and Tsugaru smiled slightly. "Hey ya' brats," he said putting them down. Izaya looked at the triplets before chuckling, "See ya Shizu-chan, Tsuggi-kun, Delic." They waved at him and before the Hiewajima trio left, Delic went to Psyche and hugged him. "Bye wifey, remember to draw me that Yusa picture!" Psyche laughed, "Alright Delic, I won't forget!" With that said Delic waved bye as he ran to catch up with Shizuo and Tsugaru. _

_ "C'mon Psyche let's go home."_

_ "Alright~"_

_ Izaya grabbed his brothers hand as Psyche started rambling about how his day went. What Psyche didn't know is that someone was following them. Izaya on the other hand, new and felt like someone was following them, he just couldn't find where this person was. He had to make sure that Psyche wouldn't get hurt because of this person. Psyche was his everything. Psyche was his word. If anything had happened to his younger brother he would never forgive himself..._

_ "Izaya-nii, are you listening?"_

_ "Huh? Oh, yeah I was."_

_ Psyche pouted, and when he saw an anime otaku store, he let go of Izaya's hand, running, as he shouted, "Cool!" Izaya sighed and started to walk over to Psyche, saying, "Psyche, get over here." _

_ "...got cha'..."_

_ And with that Izaya froze, shocked as he heard the raspy and cold voice and turned his head quickly, looking at man that had the the AK 47 firmly in his hands. Izaya turned to Psyche and started running and when he got in front of Psyche, he grabbed and pushed him out the way, and at that same moment, Izaya was hit about 4 to 7 times in his chest and arms. Psyche sat on the floor, shaking, eyes widen in fear. Izaya looked at Psyche, stuttering out, "...call... mom... tell her I... won't be home... for... dinner..." Psyche screamed and held Izaya as people around them started calling the police._

_ Izaya smiled as he slowly closed his eyes and blacked out from everything..._

* * *

Hospital Bed.

You feel someone slowly start to remove the bandages as you try so hard to stay still. This was your brother, the man whom you thought would hate you. As thoughts where flying in your head, you feel a thumb run over the marks in your arm.

"Psyche..."

You hear him call out to you, but you dare not make a sound. "Don't ever feel like your less then perfect. Your perfect to me..." Then, you feel a soft kiss land on your lips, kissing you gently and softly. When he pulls away from you; you immediately start to miss his warmth. Un-able to contain your feelings any longer, you let out a light sob as you open your pink eyes. You see soft yet sharp crimson eyes staring at you, and thin lips in the shape of a smile. You slowly sit up, as you cover your arm, sobbing lightly. "Psyche...", he whispers ever-so elegantly, gently picking your head up, making you look at him.

"Pretty, pretty please... if you ever ever feel; like you're nothing... your fucking perfect..."

He pulls you into a hug, letting tears roll down his eyes, smiling, he whispers in your ear, "...to me..." He covered the 'not' on your arm and held you closely and tightly. You finally manged to find your voice as you whisper, "I-Izaya... N-nii..." Izaya sobbed a bit more, hearing you finally call out to him, and hearing your voice, "Y-yes Psyche...?" You wrap your arms around him and say, "I love you... let me tell you everything that happened while you where asleep..."


End file.
